Here we go again.....

I was talking to Randy this evening about something that’s been on my mind for the past few weeks. Every few years I begin to feel that I need to “do” something important in my life. First it was be a mom. Then it was become a Sunday school teacher. Then volunteer for literacy. Then join the literary organization. Then help the kids finish high school and get to/through college. Now all that is over and I’m feeling a stirring again.

I was thinking about it on the way home. This is the time of life when most folks my age are beginning to have grandchildren. (No rush meant Sara). And while I would LOVE to learn I’m going to have a little addition I must wait patiently with arms aching. So what do I do until then?????

A few things came to mind. I could do as Sara did and get involved in our theatre group. I’m sure Tater Patch is always looking for volunteers. The up side is being able to get my creative side going again. I feel it has been dormant. The down side is spending less time with Randy and we already spend so little time together. Guess that idea is not a good choice.

I could get involved with Sassafras Literary Exchange again. I hesitate to do that though. Last time I attended a gathering it had gotten a little “uppity” and I didn’t care for the politics that was going on. I felt totally out of place in a place that used to feel like home. So that isn’t a choice either.

I guess the one thing that is pulling me, and that will allow me to still spend time with Randy, is my much neglected writing. Not the organizing of what I have written already but putting pen to paper and getting some new stuff down. However, as all who write know, it isn’t that easy. I’m one of those who waits on the words to find me instead of me going out to search for them.

Writing for me is a very mystical process. I ponder – sometimes for days – and then all of a sudden BAM words are falling onto paper faster than I can write. I hurry to get it all down and finally get to go back and read it. It takes some re-write and some moving things around sometimes but it’s usually all there.

Yep, I believe that focusing on my writing is probably what is currently missing in my life right now. Randy has told me for years I should publish something. Most of what I have written is poetry and folks don’t read (or buy) poetry. It’s nice to write and fact is it is most of what I write but it doesn’t sell. However it is good for my soul. I get great satisfaction from writing it or rather it writing itself through me.

Maybe I’ll just keep writing here. But if my past track record is any indication I wouldn’t wait up for it.