Thursday, December 30, 2010

Leaving 2010

The year is almost over and it was an eventful one. Biggest event this fall was that DD is getting a divorce and has moved back in with us. So what was our empty nest is now full again.

I'm still at or below goal weight. I log my weight in every Thursday just to keep me on track.

Been having trouble with my migraines and meds. Meds I was on were making my hair fall out so around Thanksgiving I started coming off of it. Dr put me on a new med, Aplenzin, but it hasn't done anything to help. I'm having migraines every day and for the past few days have had nausea. I'm so tired of dealing with the migraines.

Christmas was good. We had a slim Christmas Eve at our house. Christmas morning here then lunch on Christmas day at Mom's. It was her turn to read the Christmas story so we are starting all over this year.

DD's dog, Biscuit, also came to live with us. She is very sweet and we love having her. Although right now she is whining to be let in. We kept her in while it was so cold but it isn't so cold today but she doesn't like being outside and away from family.

I was surprised and delighted at how well she and Leo got along. They startled each other a couple of times but for the most part they got along fine.

I'm out of work all this week but because of the migraines and nausea have not felt well. What a pain.

Wonder what 2011 will hold. Hope it's better than this year.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Back Where I Began

I recalculated my Weight Watchers points after I obtained my goal weight and learned I am back where I started. I get 21 points now and that is what I was originally assigned when I began this journey. But a funny thing happened on the way to my goal. I learned to eat less. Now that I can eat more I find it sometimes difficult to do so. I have this little fear in the back of my head that I will just keep on losing even when I don't want to. Of course it hasn't even been a week yet since I achieved my true goal on my normal weight in date. So I've got time to get the balance worked out.

I was in an adventuresome mood in the kitchen this weekend. My co-worker brought me a cake pop last week and I thought I'd try my hand at making some. I baked my low sugar soda cake. I mixed in my low sugar icing. I made the balls, though they were a little soft. I melted the white chocolate chips in a double boiler in the microwave and here is where I hit the bump in the road - burnt chocolate. Bonnie had warned me about this but I went and did it anyway. An entire package of chips had to be thrown into the trash. So what to do about the pops?? I wrapped them individually in plastic and put them in the freezer. They didn't freeze solid and are a cool treat to have when I want something sweet but not sinful. Oh well, it took me 3 batches of Bavarian Red Cabbage to get it right. I'm not giving up on this idea yet. I'll just go back where I began and try again.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The wait for the weight is over

I have finally reached my goal weight - 137 pounds (actually 136.6 to be exact). I have to admit it feels so good to be back into a size 12 pants and medium shirts. It took five months of slowly learning how to eat properly - and putting that into practice. I thought about it all this weekend. Will I go back to my old eating habits over time? Can I sustain this weight? Only time can tell.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

End of an era

Friday was May 28, 2010, the day we lost our dear dog Chewy. Even though we had prepared ourselves for it it didn't make it easy when it arrived. It never does.

Dr. McGhee had put Chewy on a daily does of an anti-inflammatory for two weeks and then we expected to cut back to once every two days. Today would have been the two weeks. Chewy had been getting around better, not limping so much from his arthritis. And altogether acting normally.

Around 1:00PM Friday Ben called from the house to ask what vet we used. He said Chewy had a seizure. He said he foamed at the mouth, stretched his body out stiff and moved his legs like he was running. I called the vet but when Ben tried to load Chewy to take him he was confused and combative. Ben stayed with him for a while and called me later to say Chewy seemed normal so Ben went on into work. I couldn't wait for Randy to get home to check on him.

Turns out Randy was running late so it was me that checked on him when I got home. At first he was fine. He met me at the steps like always, tail wagging, ready for his supper. I fed him and he ate like normal. I guess I'd been home 15 minutes or so when Ran called and while I was talking to him I could see Chewy beginning to have another seizure. I had looked dog seizures up on the internet before I left work so I knew basically there wasn't anything I could do until it was over except remove anything he could get hurt on. The seizure lasted for a little over a minute.

When he came out of it he was very confused. Not wanting to be bitten like Ben I left him alone and watched. He was pointed toward the railing so I assumed he would turn around or back up and come toward me. He didn't. In his confusion he pushed himself through the railing and fell off the porch into the grass and pavers below. I watched him stagger under the porch.

By this time I knew I had to call the vet. I had already spoken to them several times during the afternoon. I went into the house to get my cell and when I came back out Chewy was on the lower terrace behind the house. He was still confused. He walking straight into the house with his head pointed toward the wall. Then another seizure began. He laid down. Before Randy could get here Chewy had another seizure laying there and could not get up. That was a total of 4 that we knew of and by this time he was very much out of it. As soon as Randy pulled up I called the vet to let them know we were on the way that Chewy was very bad.

Randy put Chewy on a rug to pull him away from the house then picked him up and put him in the back of the car. On the way over Chewy had 2 more seizures and his breathing was constantly heavy.

Once we got Chewy into a room and Dr. Lewis examined him he asked us about the possibility Chewy had come in contact with poisons, a sprayed yard or something like that. Of course nothing had changed around the house so that was eliminated but he kept asking us about it. The only way to confirm would be to give Chewy meds, keep him for observation and do a round of blood tests.

Earlier in the day when Ben called me he asked me if it wasn't just "time". As Randy and I stood there looking at Chewy and knowing he was out of it and anything we do would just put off the inevitable we looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking. After 14 years, 9 months and 2 weeks it was time. He was an old man, deaf with only one eye laying on that table suffering and it was time.

I asked Dr. Lewis what would happen and Randy signed the papers. Randy and I didn't leave Chewy. He was faithful to us all his life and we were not about to leave him alone now. After Dr. Lewis administered the shots Chewy passed away peacefully a few minutes after 6:00pm.

We are going to bring him back here on Monday, Memorial Day, and bury him on the property. It's only fitting. This is the home he loved, the only home he ever knew where people he loved, and who loved him, came and went.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I can just see it now

This has been a wonderful weekend. I typically don't go into town on Saturdays but this weekend there were errands I needed to run that took me there and I'm glad they did. Driving through town and walking around reminded me of a Norman Rockwell portrait of Americana. I'm so blessed to still live in one of those small towns that hasn't been gobbled up yet by big box commerce (though we are on the verge).

It actually all started Thursday on the National Day of Prayer. I met my sister at lunch in front of the courthouse where an event had been planned. Several pastors and others were asked to lead us in pray for various areas that touch our lives; our family, local, state and federal government, schools, etc. I expected a bigger crowd but the moderator said there were more here this year than last and he hoped next year would be even bigger.

Then Saturday morning as I drove through the mass of folks out getting their Mother's Day presents I passed a yard sale at the Methodist church. I didn't have time to stop but would have loved to. Up the road at the Middle School parking lot teenagers were fundraising by washing cars. Two guys were by the road waving homemade signs. A block up from there is our small Saturday morning farmer's market where local growers and craftsmen bring their wares. Homegrown tomatoes, beans, corn and handcrafted birdhouses and pottery are for sale.

By the time I got to Kroger I had a smile on my face already and then it got bigger. There were some little Boy Scouts selling colorful wooden rose buds as a fundraiser just in time for Mother's Day.

As I drove out of town I started thinking about all the Norman Rockwell paintings I have seen and concluded that my little hometown would have been a perfect subject for a Norman Rockwell collage. I can just see it now.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Hope is enough for today

I had a good day yesterday. It is not the first good day I’ve had since last summer but is one of the few. I feel like I’ve been in a fog. That is what depression causes. You find yourself in a place you’d rather not be and don’t know how to get out of.

I stopped going places by myself, including church. I felt joyless even around the people I love the most. I had anxiety attacks. It’s crazy. I tried to ignore it for a long time thinking it would just go away. It didn’t. Then I tried to handle it myself. I couldn’t. Then I went to counseling and hoped that would change everything. I learned things about myself that no one else understands. Or would believe really.

Who would have guessed I would be someone who feels insignificant. It was a real shocker to me. I’ve had confidence and a perfectly normal healthy self-esteem all my life. Why suddenly in mid-life would that be shaken??? Don’t know. And the counselor couldn’t help me with it to my satisfaction. I’m not going back at the moment.

But then that is the back-story. Yesterday I actually had a song in my heart. I danced – literally danced – in the living room. I took a walk. I got things done without sitting on the couch all day watching TV. It felt good.

There are some lingering questions, some unsolved issues but today I have hope. And hope is enough for me today.

Monday, March 29, 2010

That's My Girl

We celebrated Baby Girl's birthday yesterday. She brought some of her cutwork over for us to see. I saw the pictures she posted on Facebook but had not seen the real deal. There is a BIG difference.

I was blown away by the intricate detail. Can't believe she has the patience to do that but she loves it. There was one entitled "Rain Barrel" that I thought was one of her best pieces. There is a border with vines and flowers. Inside is a downspout emptying into a stripped rain barrel. The top layer is black and then there are layers and layers of color underneath. It's the same with the Queen of Hearts she did. She took a regular playing card, drew the design much bigger - about 9" x 10" - and did the cutwork in multiple layers.

I guess someone else does this type of work but I've never seen it. I hope she shows her work at Sautee. Having seen her work in person I'm like her DH's Grandmother - she should be selling this stuff.

I am so glad she is using a talent she has discovered. Nothing makes you feel quite like it. Her Daddy wanted her to play music. She did, then put it down. I wanted her to write. She did, then put it down. This is her own thing and I hope she keeps it up for a lifetime.

Later.....

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Sweet, Sweet and Sweeter

I have had three nice surprises the past couple of days. First I opened my e-mail to find a note from my DD. It simply said, "I love you today". That is kind of a family thing we do. Randy and I started it. Saying "I love you" seemed so generic so we added the 'today" part to make it specific to right now, in the moment, and all day today. We didn't realize the kids had picked up on it until they were adults. On rare occasions I'll get a little "I love you today" from DD and it makes my day. Especially this time cause I don't know how she knew I was having a rough day. I guess it is that mysterious bond between mother and daughter where you just know stuff.

The other nice surprise was that it was a co-worker's birthday today. I had no idea she was born on St. Patrick's Day. So we took her to lunch. Of course I went to the restaurant's web site, looked at the menu and decided on what I was to eat beforehand. It is amazing that that was the first thing I thought of when they told me we were going out for lunch. I focused on planning ahead what I could eat so when ordering time came around I was confident. (Had the Pressed Veggie Sandwich for 3 points). This is a whole new way of thinking about food for me. And I am finding eating out pretty easy so far.

Surprise number three was an unexpected phone call from my best friend (who moved out of town and left me - whine). It's always so good to hear her voice and she was so excited about some quilting projects she has going. She is a good big younger than me and quilts like a demon. Our Dads passed away within months of each other. This weekend she came home, got some of his clothes and is making quilts from them. I can hardly wait to see the finished product. I'd wanted to do that with some of Daddy's but I have limited sewing ability.

So that's been my day. Sweet that I heard from my bestest friend. Sweet that I got to have lunch out with the girls. And Sweeter that my Baby Girl loves me.


Monday, March 15, 2010

Not gonna do it

You know what I don't enjoy? I don't enjoy folks who blog about their stressful day. (Chirp, chirp, chirp)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Yo Yo

This blog is like a yoyo. I come - I go - but I seem to always come back.

I have started another blog on Weight Watchers (WW). It's called "Too Much Empty Nest". Royston began a "Biggest Loser" contest and I decided I would use that motivation to lose 30 pounds. Some co-workers were on WW so I checked it out. I'm using the online version and love it (except when my computer goes wonky). So far I've had 2 weigh in's and have lost a total of 5 pounds.

DS has officially moved back in with us for a little while. Got too crazy in that house with so many people. He has lived in that type of situation before but this time it was with his best friend since high school and that was a recipe for disaster. He seems to be doing well on the job though and that's good. We don't see him much. He found a new girlfriend as soon as he moved back up here.

Talked to Baby Girl this week. She is volunteering at the zoo. Which I found out isn't a zoo really at all but a rehab place for animals that have been on the road - circus animals and such - or performing in theme parks. She cleans cages, washes tables and whatever they need her to do. I'm proud of her for doing that. Giving back is important and she has a soft spot for animals.

Granny and I were talking about her the other day. Every woman has doubts and fears about motherhood and I'm sure those have run through Sara's mind but Granny and I both agree we think she will be the best Mom. Of course she will struggle at first like we all do but once she gets the hang of it - and she will - she'll be great with those kids. They will be polite, she'll do fun creative stuff with them and she will love them with her whole heart and then some. And when they snuggle into her neck and she smells their baby smell and kisses their little cheek as they fall asleep and she knows that is her baby she will get what all mothers get in return. A bond so strong that until you are a mother you cannot even comprehend it.

Until next time ...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Mini Stories of Me: In The Beginning

A while back I started writing a little series I call “The Mini Stories of Me”. Narcissistic I know but if I don’t tell my story who will. I decided to post a few of the “Mini Stories” here on my blog from time to time. Seems as good a place as any. Here is the first installment.

XXX

Introduction

It rained the day Daddy was buried. I wanted it to rain. Somewhere along the line someone told me once that when a good man dies the angels in heaven cry with joy to welcome one of their own home. Daddy was a good man.

In the days around Daddy’s death I took comfort from little things. An old boyfriend showed up at the funeral home and I was comforted to know he cared enough to come. A co-worker unexpectedly attended the funeral. And of course…the rain.

Thanks to Daddy my life had relatively little “rain” as I was growing up. He and Mother saw to it we had a happy childhood. It was post WWII and my siblings and I became known as the Baby Boomers.

My sister, Teresa, was first string having been born in 1947. At an early age she showed the signs of independence that we praise, and sometimes curse, now. She came of age with The Everly Brothers, Chubby Checker, sock hops and the Twist. Life was simple and innocent back then.

My brother, born 4 years later, came of age in the 60’s. The Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Steppenwolf and Woodstock. Randall was my protector and I was often the thorn in his side. He tested Mother and Daddy’s limits by getting into more trouble than Teresa did. Then he was drafted into the Army and came back a different man.

I came along in 1957 – the baby. I came of age in the 70’s. The best music of any era came out in my time. There was Aerosmith, Fleetwood Mac, The Eagles, Grand Funk Railroad, “Thick as a Brick” and lava lamps. It was a great time to be a teenager.

The history of our family, to-date, spans over 60 years. Much has happened both good and bad but one thing has kept us going – the love of our parents for each other and for each of us. It is that love that made the good times so much better. And it was that love that made the awful times bearable. Even when our parents had the wisdom to sit back and do nothing but be a safety net – that was love. As a parent myself I now know how much effort that took.

It is by our parent’s example that each of us, Teresa, Randall and I, have learned to exhibit love to others in our own lives. First and foremost for our spouse who stays with us long after the children are gone, but most especially for our children. If we are not the example for our children then who will be?

So I begin this story – this journey – where it all began…when Mother and Daddy met and fell in love.


The Journey Begins

Daddy was born September 24, 1925 to Eva and Ira Fouts. Most folks pronounced their names E-ver and R-ee (long E, hard R). It was the Roaring 20’s so I assume times were pretty good. Grandpa Fouts worked at the Georgia Marble Company as a crane operator. As far as I know Grandma Fouts was a homemaker raising her 5 children – Gladys, Pauline, Daddy, Erma and Jimey. They owned a 2 story house on a few acres in Marble Hill, GA.

The following February – Feburary 10th to be exact – Minnie and Ed Pendley gave birth to twins. In those days no one knew ahead of time what they were going to have so the twins were a big surprise.

In the small communities that dotted this rural area families helped each other out. And the little Pendley family surely needed help. Here was Grandad who now had not one but two new babies to care for while not knowing if his wife was going to live or die from complications following the birth. Enter Grandma Fouts. Since Grandmother and Grandad Pendley were only expecting one child they only had clothes for one. So Grandma Fouts sewed clothes for the other baby.

Grandmother Pendley recovered and life moved on until Morris and Doris were in third grade. That is when love began to bloom. One of their classmates even made up a rhyme about them:

Morris and Doris went for a ride
Morris fell out and Doris cried

As they grew older they were not exclusive to each other. Daddy had an eye for one of the Richards sisters and I know that Mother had other boyfriends from time to time. But Daddy was the first and the one that got the girl.

Daddy joined the Navy when he was 17 years old. He wasn’t old enough to sign for himself so Grandpa Fouts had to. Daddy proposed to Mother before he left to go overseas. She didn’t accept then but waited until he returned home. I asked her a couple of years ago why she didn't marry him before he left. After all, there were loads of pre-deployment weddings during that time. She told me that she wanted to go to college before getting married. So while Daddy was fighting the Japanese Mother was attending Berry College in Rome and working in the dining hall for her tuition.

When he returned he asked her again to marry him and she said “Yes” this time. They were wed on April 6, 1946. There is a picture that was taken right after they were married that Sara loves. We all have a copy. They look so young and full of promise. They spent their honeymoon night in Atlanta. Mom told me that at the end of their stay Daddy didn’t have enough money left for the bus ride back home. Turns out Mother had stashed some money back and was able to get them home – good thing.

They walked wherever they went that honeymoon night and everywhere they were they heard the song “Oh What It Seemed To Be”. It became their song. Years later at their 50th wedding anniversary Teresa, Randall and I searched for and found a tape of the song. We surprised them by playing it for them. We kids danced with our spouses and Daddy stood with Mother and cried. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life.

Mother and Daddy were married from April, 1946 to August, 2003 when Daddy passed away. Fifty-seven years of loving each other and building a home. Not a home of wood and shingles but of the stuff that keeps folks together. Laughter, crying, shared good times and bad. Hard work followed by fun vacations. Wisdom, learning, failing, succeeding. Sometimes literally blood, sweat and tears. All this served to bind us together as a family, a strong family. One that has rolled with the punches and jumped back up for the next hit.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is not the end, it is only the beginning. So with Daddy at the bow and Mother at the stern they began to sail through this thing we call "The Fouts Family".

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

2010 And In The Kitchen Again

I received a copy of the movie "Julia and Julia" for Christmas. It's the story of Julie Powell cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook and blogging about it. Movie was really good by the way. But more than that it inspired me to get off my duff and start cooking from scratch again. Sunday, when Sara came over to watch the movie with me, I cooked a big vat of vegetable beef soup. Now that isn't really cooking from scratch - brown meat, throw in tomatoes, corn and peas - but served with warm yeast rolls it was a hearty home cooked meal appreciated by all in the house on a cold day.

Yesterday at lunch I found a recipe on tasteofhome.com for a casserole made with broccoli, carrots, chicken and Alfredo sauce with biscuits on top. I decided that is what I'd make for supper instead of heating a frozen Marie Callender's Al Dente bowl (as delicious and easy as they are).

It was so satisfying to be in my kitchen actually chopping vegetables, cooking raw chicken, mixing up biscuit mix. Not only that, it kept me from sitting on the couch watching TV.

If I have one New Year's resolution it is to sit less and move more. I have been a sedate empty nester too long. I am going to try and find little ways to accomplish my goal. Anything too big and I lose interest. Cooking is the perfect vehicle to get to my goal. It takes energy to cook and last night I was never still. Of course there is that real danger of eating what you cook. However I believe I have enough self control to limit myself to one helping (well, one helping and a donut last night :-)

So as I look forward to 2010 I do so with a new goal in hand, renewed interest in something I can accomplish and gratitude for Julia Child who has inspired one more admirer to get in the kitchen and cook without fear.

Bon appetit !